I was reading an article in a magazine recently about the novelist Jackie Collins. Jackie sadly passed away after battling breast cancer. The only people that knew that Jackie had breast cancer were her three daughters. The reason that she didn't tell anyone else was because, and I quote "I think sympathy can weaken you". I wrote down this quote because I agree one hundred percent with Jackie Collins. Just lately we saw the passing of another great person, David Bowie. The world was in shock because no one knew that he was even ill. Heck, he'd just produced another Album! But I dare say that he had the same philosophy as Jackie Collins......sympathy can weaken you, and when you are battling cancer you need every bit of strength in your body to help you heal.
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, the first thing I said to my husband was "Please don't tell anyone". You see it is hard enough to deal with the cancer without the sympathy of friends. Sympathy weakens you. Of course friends and family found out that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I did try to shut myself away from people as much as I could because......sympathy weakens you. I also started to screen the phone calls from friends because the calls I disliked the most were from friends who started to cry whilst talking to me. I wanted to scream I AM NOT DYING but that would have hurt my friends feelings greatly so I remained quiet, but, sympathy weakens you.
Some people seem to become addicted to sympathy. They get so much attention and sympathy from their pain that they continue to find reasons to be in pain. Those people are usually not positive thinking and we all know the power of the mind over body can cause some remarkable changes in our body.
I am just not a very sympathetic person I'm afraid. My motto is "just get on with it", but I don't think that makes me a hard person. I would rather help my friends in other ways if they are going through a bad time. Instead of the shoulder I would prefer to deliver a hot meal to their door or invite them for dinner. To me that is more constructive, but.....what do I know.